Why I’m Writing This Article
I am writing this article here on LinkedIn because I know many of us struggle with being seen, gaining self-confidence, and feeling worthwhile. My own journey spans decades of struggles but also showcases the fighter spirit I possess. Numerous events have shaped the man I am today, and I want to share my story with you. It’s raw and personal in parts, but I hope it helps others realize they are not alone.
The Struggles of University Life
Back in university, I found myself grappling with mathematical statistics. Despite my best efforts, I could hardly understand the complex concepts and formulas thrown my way. My final grade was a modest 1 out of 5—a clear indicator of my struggles. Little did I know that this subject, which once seemed so daunting, would play a pivotal role in my future.
A Surprising Turn of Events
Fast forward nearly 30 years, and here I am, holding patents in Artificial Intelligence—a field deeply rooted in mathematical statistics. Reflecting on my journey, I’m as surprised as anyone. My university days, marked by a grade of 4.3 in mathematics, seemed a distant memory compared to the milestones I have achieved since.
Battling Self-Doubt and Dark Times
My path wasn’t easy. I battled with low self-confidence, a struggle that led me down some dark and challenging routes. Yet, these experiences shaped me, teaching me resilience and determination. I’m not saying this to promote myself, but to tell you that it didn’t matter to me at the time—I couldn’t grasp it. I was simply blind to my own drive and capability. These traits became instrumental when I ventured into fintech, earning a Seal of Excellence from the EU and later being recognized as one of Britain’s most promising entrepreneurs. It’s only when I write about these things that I understand what I have done. Seeing it in text makes it all real.
The Birth of Sofiqe
Today, I am excited to introduce Sofiqe, the world’s first app capable of detecting skin tones, eye colors, and hair colors, and recommending makeup from any brand in our extensive database. Our rigorous testing with nearly 100,000 products yielded perfect matches, showcasing the app’s precision and innovation.
I love being a nerd, but I also love doing sales. I cannot leave a second without thinking about sales, but the nerd side appeals to thinking and inventing, which I have done for some time now.
From Bullying to Resilience
My journey began on a much tougher note. As a child, I was bullied relentlessly. My clothes, freshly washed by my mother, would be soiled by the end of each day. The bullying was so severe that my mother had to witness it herself to believe it. This period of my life deeply affected my self-esteem, leading to poor academic performance in subjects I had no interest in.
A Turning Point in the Military
During my military training as an officer, I encountered a harsh reality. Seeing “the privates” in their diverse backgrounds shook me out of my comfort zone. It was a wake-up call that motivated me to pursue evening courses and eventually earn my first master’s degree.
The Competitor Within
Parallel to my academic and professional pursuits, I excelled in sports. Competing at a national level in swimming and road cycling, as well as in water polo, instilled in me a fierce competitive spirit. I vividly remember the excruciating pain of the last 25 meters in a breaststroke race, my arms cramped and fingers immobile. Yet, I endured and emerged victorious, a testament to my ability to push through pain and adversity.
Personal Struggles and Relationships
My personal life was equally challenging. I made poor choices in relationships, often finding myself with women who were detrimental to my well-being. I got married, but the relationship ended in a painful divorce, leading to even worse experiences in subsequent relationships. One particularly strange relationship with a Dutch ex-girlfriend, marked by bullying and numerous affairs, forced me to confront my self-worth. From my side, it was a period of passive waiting and enduring mistreatment. These experiences made me realize that I needed to take control and focus on understanding and improving myself.
Adding to my challenges, I attended business school in London. I was embarrassed by my English, often shutting up to avoid speaking. Despite this being my second master’s degree—a significant achievement—I couldn’t feel proud. I struggled with self-confidence and motivation. Being new to London, I felt insecure about how people perceived me. I worried if they saw me as a “bad foreigner trying to steal their jobs” or a high-valued Swedish professional. These struggles permeated all areas of my life, exacerbating my feelings of inadequacy.
Embracing Pain and Seeking Help
Over the past ten years, I have endured immense pain and suffering to reach where I am today. This journey of self-improvement wasn’t solely professional but also deeply personal. With the help of my life coach, Patsy Waithe , who has been my cornerstone, I have worked tirelessly to understand myself better and address my issues. Patsy has been instrumental in helping me navigate the complexities of my life and build a stronger, more confident self.
I have also learned to set limits and refuse to tolerate people who behave badly towards me. Many use terms like “passive-aggressive” to derogate others, leveraging the negative connotation of “aggressive” to appear superior. This is just a manipulative tactic. The little boy in me was afraid of pushing back and standing up for the excellent man I am and the power I possess. Much of this fear stemmed from the hardships of my childhood. However, my sports training has turned me into a silent yet relentless driving force, empowering me to assert myself and uphold my boundaries. I am calm to the point of being almost passive in my behavior; I’d rather take a walk and enjoy nature than engage in a quarrel. Silence is my friend, but it often drives people around me nuts.
Embracing Pain as Fuel
This ability to endure pain has become my secret weapon. Whether it’s developing new patents or launching groundbreaking apps like Sofiqe, I thrive in challenging environments. My journey, from fintech innovations that remain unmatched to the creation of Sofiqe, underscores my relentless pursuit of excellence.
A Message to All
My story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and perseverance. Understand yourself, harness your unique strengths, and pursue what you love without worrying about others’ opinions. People shouldn’t judge what they don’t understand. Walk your own path and embrace your journey, no matter how unconventional it may seem.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope it inspires you to push through your own challenges and achieve your dreams
